I haven't mentioned it because I hated to always be a Debbie Downer but I've been giving serious round the clock hospice care to my beloved companion parrot who was diagnosed with cancer just weeks after Daddio passed on in January and days after Dear Old Doggie left us in February. I figure I have had only the first 10 days of this entire year that I haven't been grieving-and it's taken a toll.
Yesterday morning at 5:15 my sweetie bird flew over rainbow bridge. She'd been wanting to cuddle and be close at night so I've been sleeping sitting up while holding her for months. I was holding her last night when she reached up to rub her cheek on mine and say her last goodbye. I raised her from a hatchling and she's been my best birdie buddy for close to 30 years. She was the first voice I heard every morning and the last I heard at night. She was supposed to be my forever friend.
So....I just can't prattle on about holidays and knitting right now. I know you get it. It's been so hard pretending that my life has been centered around normal things when it hasn't for so damn long. This time last year I had a dad, a dog and a bird and now I don't. I don't know what to do with all this sadness other than take some time for myself to sort it all out.
Hopefully, I'll be back sometime in the New Year.
Give your critters a squeeze for me.
Life can change in an instant.
I love you more than one more day.
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Oh my dear sweet Debra. I am so very sorry from the deepest part of my heart. This has been such an awful year for you my friend. Our fur, (and feather), babies just take over our hearts. I wish I would have known as I would have been praying for God to give you a measure of peace through all of this. Please know that we all love you and will be here for you whenever you feel you can return to blogland. Much love and hugs my friend.
ReplyDeleteBlessings always,
Betsy
I'm crying for you and I'm crying for your beloved Wo. I'm so sorry you've had such a tough year, losing ones you've loved very much. You have such a generous spirit, so make sure you give yourself that same generosity of time that you need to heal.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Take care. You are always such an inspiration. Liana
ReplyDeleteSo sorry. You've had more than your share of loss and sorrow. Huge hugs
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Debra. Be gentle with yourself.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry this has been your year. Losing loved ones human or furry is the worst of life. Go girl. Grieve. Do something you never do. Then live. Life is short. I know I will miss you. Seajaes
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss. What a tough season in life you have had. Wishing you peace. -Dee
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve, this has truly been a bad year. Will miss you.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss and sadness. One does Need to take time to cry and grieve. Revelation 21:3-4.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. It's been a rough year. Take the time you need to take care of yourself. Perhaps a vacation where your only care will be what drink is the pool boy bringing next. Take care, rest and grieve. We'll be here.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your weary heart.
ReplyDeleteWords escape me - I can't imagine the depth of your grief from all these losses.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry. Do what you need to do to. We'll be here for you when you're ready to come back.
ReplyDeleteA great big hug from Canada!
I'm so sorry for your loss(es). You're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIn a room of people, you can be so alone.
ReplyDeleteGrief is like that-with the best of a support system, you can still be in so much pain; take care and know we are here for you.
Wow, 30 years is a long time. Many marriages don't last that long. Take whatever time you need. You have suffered a lot of loss in the past year. I'll be thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteI cried reading your post. It is so sad. You have had so many holes ripped in your heart this year. Hope you find peace and can enjoy the memories. I know grieving is different for each person and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I would never consider you a Debbie Downer. I think you share a slice of your life with your readers and life is not always Hallmark moments. Take care. Hugs and prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteOh Deb. I am so sorry. You have had so much loss . How can your heart not hurt? Im thinking of you. Don't know what to say really. Your blog pals love you. You sat sitting up for her? That's so beautiful
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. You had so many losses. Take your time; we will be here whenever you are ready to come back.
ReplyDeletePolly M.
I came over from Betsy's blog to tell you I understand. How lucky you were to be blessed with loving pets for such a long time...but that makes it also incredibly sad. Be kind to yourself and do the things that make you feel better.
ReplyDeleteWe suffered a loss too back in September and I just wanted to quit too...but took things one day at a time...and the blogging community has been supportive when I needed it. Sending you a hug.
I've been reading your blog everyday for months and have never commented til now. I know how very hard and sad it is to lose our (aging) parents and our constant companions. Grief is like the waves, it comes, it goes, it's unpredictable. I'm so sorry about your sweet parrot and this year of loss. Wishing you peace and hope to see you in this space in the new year. Namaste.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. Take time for yourself without guilt or stress.
ReplyDeleteHuge hugs to you...I hope you find your peace. I will look forward to reading your adventures again when you are ready. Be good to you - you deserve it!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your bird. Take care of yourself and hope to hear from you next year.
ReplyDelete-Mary S
There are no words to say right now about your grief. It is true, raw and ever present and I want you to know that you are loved by all of us. You take the time you need to take, take each and every day, well frankly take each moment as you need to. Grieve, cry, become angry, yell and scream at all the unfairness in the world, and then come back when you are ready because believe when I say you are loved and you will be missed.
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear bird - I've never heard of a sweeter pet. I'll continue to check every day - your blog is so dear to my heart and you share so much of yourself - Praying for your healing
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSending a cyber hug from Canada. Take gentle care.
ReplyDeleteRoslyn
I am so sorry Araignee. 2018 has not been the best of years. Birds are the most beautiful of pets. "Grief is the price we pay for love." Take comfort in the knowledge that you have known love and are loved. May 2019 be kinder to your heart. My condolences and hugs xx
ReplyDeleteMy sweet bird looks just like your baby. I know exactly how you feel. Entre is 35 years old and he is so precious to me. I know time is drawing near. He regularly has seizures. But there isn't anything we can d but just love him everyday. My heart is with you.
ReplyDeleteOh, Deb, I am so sorry to hear this and so behind in reading blogs. May these first few days of 2019 bring you comfort! And here's hoping it will be a much better year. Sending big hugs from the Northwest!
ReplyDelete