Saturday, April 4, 2015

April Daddio Update

 There comes a time in everyone's life, if you live long enough, when your only possessions must fit in a suitcase. One suitcase.

 Daddio was apparently quite a dandy. As I sort through his things I am amazed at how much clothing he has. Picking and choosing what he can keep and what must go is a daunting task.

His entire house has to be cleared out. It seems he won't be coming home. His stay in the nursing facility is going to be long term. His mental status has improved a bit but he is a shadow of himself. It wouldn't be safe to bring him home. He needs round the clock professional care now.

I feel defeated but not guilty. I gave it my best. We all did but when your body and your mind give out, there's not much to be done. He seems accepting of this. I think. It's hard to tell. I'm not sure what's going on in his head. No one does. We saw a wonderful new neurologist last week but he has no answers.

Now we have to sell the house in order to keep him in the place that is keeping him safe-which is no easy task in his condition. They've called me twice today to say he had fallen. Sigh.

The house is in total disarray. I've been working all week to get it in good enough shape to let anyone come in to see it. No one wants to buy a house that looks like an old folk's home.

When Mom was alive the place was gorgeous. When she knew her end was near she made me promise to get Dad out of the house as soon as she was gone. She knew what he would do to it and she was right. I'm so sorry I didn't keep that promise.

The place really has gone to ruin. Try as I might for the past 12 years, I couldn't keep my job, my house, his house and my sanity. It's been overwhelming because he never would even try to meet me halfway. He took his anger at losing Mom out on the one thing she cared about most. I didn't get it and I couldn't fix it.

With him gone, The Sisters and I are going to try to put Mom's love back in the place hoping someone will see its potential.

It's got so much potential-and a helluva good view of the Chesapeake Bay.


  1. Deb, I'm so sorry. As you said, you have no reason for guilt. You've done all you can. Please remember to take time to take care of yourself.

  2. NO guilt. You have been so supportive and wonderful. When they get cantankerous it is so hard to take! Our inlays house was so smokey and stale smelling we thought no one could buy it. After time, new paint, chemicals and love it sold quickly. Hang on. Your life is to tough right now

  3. heart breaking to see that one suitcase and know all that it represents and all that gets left behind. hold tight to your memories and good humor. it's only stuff, in the end it's what is in your heart that sees you over.

  4. I'm very sorry to read this. But I think you've done all you can. And I can already see the potential - just from your few pictures! Oh to have that view!

  5. The house I s a treasure....cherish the memories! I'm so sorry things are hard right now.