Ill Gotten Gains

 We didn't get any edible tomatoes out of the garden this year so when I saw this beauty hanging through the fence in Daddio's yard, I decided to steal it. The neighbor, whose vine had decided to take a detour in our direction, would surely not miss it.

 I had big plans for it. I was going to fry it. I had everything ready to go. The oil was heating in the pan when...

 ...I sliced into it and found it was rotten inside. Yuck. Talk about karma-but it gets even worse.

 As disappointed as I was with my dinner now in the trash, I made myself slightly happier by digging some things to fry out of the freezer. As a rule, I am not the frying type so this was a naughty treat.

 Mmmm....people without gallbladders need to avoid things like this but I had a fierce craving for something crispy.

Karma bit me in the arse again when my beautiful faux chicken patty slipped off the spatula and onto the filthy floor. Good grief. I did, however, enjoy the french fries and yes, they made me sick. Of course.