Checking In

In case you are wondering how I am holding up, I'll let some of my new best friends tell you how I'm doing:

Aurora Greenway/Shirley Maclean in Terms of Endearment

"I'm so stupid...somehow I thought that when she finally went that it would be a relief. Oh, my sweet little darling...there's nothing harder."

All those things I couldn't do while I was caring for my old doggie these past long months don't seem very important anymore. At times I felt resentful so working through that tiny residual of guilt has been a bit of a challenge. I feel bad when I try to make myself feel better so making myself miserable makes me feel better. Got that?

M''Lynn Eatenton/Sally Field in Steele Magnolias

"We should handle it in the best way we know how and get on with it. That's what my mind says. I wish somebody'd explain it to my heart."

Being a retired, empty-nester has made this loss harder than any pet that came before. It is the loneliness that is hardest to bear. We did everything together. Someone once said " life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies". I don't think so. And no-there isn't going to be a puppy in my future. I can't go through this again in my mid 70's. If they come up with a dog that lasts forever, I'm in, until then, I'm out.

Thankfully, my pity party has been kindly tolerated by all those who depend on me. My wonderful kids even sent me a giant basket of junk food to ease the grieving process. Each day is gets a little better and I have found great comfort in a new knitting project that I will share later. I hadn't the heart to pick up any of  the ones I had been working on in those last weeks with Dear Old Doggie draped across my lap so I went in search of some inspiration and found it in some charity knitting. I am too tired and lazy to get up off the couch and take photos of it at the moment but I have promised myself that Friday will be the end of my official mourning period. On Saturday I get to see the Grandbaby and then on Sunday there is a local fiber fest. If that can't pull me out of my funk-nothing can.
Thanks to everyone who sent their condolences, they were much appreciated.

Just a reminder that all these in between posts were pre-written and pre-posted. I don't want you to think I am sad one day and  fine the next. I've kinda lost it but I'm not that crazy-yet. My next real-time post will be Monday when hopefully, I will tell you all about the Shenandoah Valley Fiber Fest.