Usually Mother's Day is a tough holiday for me since I don't have a mom anymore. This year is different though because I have a bone to pick with her. This year my sad has turned to mad. If you've been following along, you know of the terrible sacrifice we have all made in order to take care of that dude on the left up there. Our troubles are not over by a long shot because neither of my two parents thought it was important to put anything aside for their old age. Mommy dearest inherited quite a bundle when her mom left her but she neglected to save a dime of it. In fact, at the time of her death she was completely broke-a bit of information I only recently discovered much to my despair since pretty much none of Daddio's health issues meet the criteria for long term paid care.
The moral of this tale of woe is to ask your parents NOW how they plan on dealing with their really old age. Not the old age where you can still get up and go but the time when you need many hands to lift you. That takes lots of bucks so make sure your parents have some put away. You don't want any surprises. Trust me. It's not a good place to be.
Having said all that, I hope that I have planned well enough for these folks so when my time comes I am a fond memory rather than a bitter burden.
In spite of my totally crappy mood, I have had a very happy early Mother's Day. Number One Son and family sent me a gift certificate from my favorite spice source.
If you haven't tried
Penzey's Spices I urge you to do so. Their catalogs are such a great resource for recipes I have a hard time throwing them away.
The Mister and Pup gave me a much appreciated chocolate boost just when I needed it most.Today I'm making the long trek back to the hospital to sort you-know-who out with hopes of transferring him to a rehab facility early in the week. He is entitled to 20 days of care but after that it falls back on us again. Sigh.
Happy Mother's Day!
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Happy Mother's Day!
ReplyDeletenow, this happened to me too. My Mom every dime and finally her home all dissolved into medical and bills and eventually long term care bills. It is a bitter pill to swallow especially when you are at the very same time dealing with the deeply disturbing and emotional roller coaster that this is your beloved parent you are so so so in love with and unbelievably frustrated by. It comes down to this.
Grace....it is what happens when your fingers become tender mercy's as they aide and help your loved one with the intimate details of their daily personnel care.
Grace... when you finally hit your pillow even if it is on the kitchen floor and say you have given your all and sleep for a couple of hours.
These conversations need to happen when we are all young and healthy and reasonable plans can be made. Sadly they are not -were not.
Praying for you to find Grace today and see the moments of this year and the days to come in light and dark as they come together in a crazy quilt of love. Each piece of the quilt a part of the whole life you and your sisters are now living with Daddio.